mfubib's posterous http://mfubib.posterous.com Most recent posts at mfubib's posterous posterous.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:55:27 -0800 The best christmas lights . . . ever http://mfubib.posterous.com/the-best-christmas-lights-ever http://mfubib.posterous.com/the-best-christmas-lights-ever
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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:19:00 -0800 That sparkly look . . . http://mfubib.posterous.com/8061355 http://mfubib.posterous.com/8061355

2009-02-20

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:59:46 -0800 Modern Warfare 2 . . . http://mfubib.posterous.com/modern-warfare-2-72 http://mfubib.posterous.com/modern-warfare-2-72
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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:25:35 -0800 Missing - My imaginary friend Olga http://mfubib.posterous.com/missing-my-imaginary-friend-olga http://mfubib.posterous.com/missing-my-imaginary-friend-olga
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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:10:14 -0700 A Formal Apology http://mfubib.posterous.com/a-formal-apology http://mfubib.posterous.com/a-formal-apology

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:54:00 -0700 Batman is not in the mood tonight :) http://mfubib.posterous.com/batman-183 http://mfubib.posterous.com/batman-183

Batman

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:27:00 -0700 Actual Call Centre Conversations http://mfubib.posterous.com/actual-call-centre-conversations http://mfubib.posterous.com/actual-call-centre-conversations
Actual call centre conversations 

Customer:     "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and
can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator:     "Where did you get that number from, sir?". 
Customer:     "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator:     "Sir, they are our opening hours". 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Samsung Electronics 
Caller:          "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" 
Operator:     "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are
talking about". 
Caller:          "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  
wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you
give me the number for Jack?" 
Operator:      "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
RAC Motoring Services 
Caller:          "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me
when I am travelling in Australia ?" 
Operator:      "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?" 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): 
"If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Directory Enquiries 
Caller:               "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". 
Operator:          "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" 
Caller:               "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off". 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 
Operator:        "Woven? Are you sure?" 
Caller:             "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ". 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator: 
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on". 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Tech Support:      "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer:             "OK".
Tech Support:      "Did you get a pop-up menu?". 
Customer:             "No".
Tech Support:      "OK.. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer:             "No".
Tech Support:      "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?". 
Customer:            "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Tech Support:          "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the
'OK' button displayed?"
Customer:                 "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Caller:  "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?". 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- 
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time...
I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the
Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". 
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator:         "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" 
Caller:              "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." 
Operator:         "What sort of trouble??" 
Caller:              "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." 
Operator:         "Went away?" 
Caller:              "They disappeared." 
Operator:         "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?" 
Caller:              "Nothing." 
Operator:         "Nothing??"
Caller:              "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." 
Operator:         "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" 
Caller:              "How do I tell?" 
Operator:         "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" 
Caller:              "What's a sea-prompt?" 
Operator:         "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller:              "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." 
Operator:         "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" 
Caller:              "What's a monitor?" 
Operator:         "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on??" 
Caller:               "I don't know." 
Operator:          "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that??" 
Caller:              "Yes, I think so." 
Operator:         "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 
Caller:              "Yes, it is."
Operator:         "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one??" 
Caller:               "No."
Operator:          "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.." 
Caller:               "Okay, here it is."
Operator:          "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." 
Caller:               "I can't reach."
Operator:          "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller:               "No."
Operator:          "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" 
Caller:               "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator:          "Dark??"
Caller:               "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. 
" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller:               "I can't."
Operator:          "No? Why not??"
Caller:               "Because there's a power failure." 
Operator:  "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" 
Caller:               "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." 
Operator:           "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you
got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller:                "Really? Is it that bad?" 
Operator:            "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller:                 "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator:            "Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"  

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 12 May 2009 21:23:00 -0700 A cure for Swine Flu! http://mfubib.posterous.com/a-cure-for-swine-flu http://mfubib.posterous.com/a-cure-for-swine-flu

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Thu, 07 May 2009 16:29:00 -0700 How creative is your resume? http://mfubib.posterous.com/how-creative-is-your-resume http://mfubib.posterous.com/how-creative-is-your-resume
Here are some interesting examples of people who are taking a slightly different approach!


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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 05 May 2009 18:19:26 -0700 Does this seem familiar? http://mfubib.posterous.com/does-this-seem-familiar http://mfubib.posterous.com/does-this-seem-familiar
pastedGraphic.pdf Download this file

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Sun, 26 Apr 2009 18:01:00 -0700 Killer Biscuits Wanted for Attempted Murder http://mfubib.posterous.com/killer-biscuits-wanted-for-attempted-murder http://mfubib.posterous.com/killer-biscuits-wanted-for-attempted-murder

Image001

 

 


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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:26:53 -0700 Have you seen this cat? http://mfubib.posterous.com/have-you-seen-this-cat-1 http://mfubib.posterous.com/have-you-seen-this-cat-1
Pastedgraphic

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:40:58 -0700 LOST IN TRANSLATION . . . NSFW or if you easily offend http://mfubib.posterous.com/lost-in-translation-nsfw-or-if-you-easily-off http://mfubib.posterous.com/lost-in-translation-nsfw-or-if-you-easily-off

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Which is one step up from just lovely.. 
  


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But taste like cat.     


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Here, crippie, take my seat!
But what is Gravid? 

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Great with flied lice


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A  separate entrance for Hos  why didn't I think of that...  

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Sounds better than canned water doesn't it? 


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Go over there to die, please. Thank you.   

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Good to know.  

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Not nice. Some of my best friends are liquor heads.   

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Look up and down the aisle twice before proceeding...


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Much tastier that the grown up variety.. 


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It will be once you start chewing on it.    

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Starbucks should be very afraid!   


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I wouldn't tickle this one.    


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Weird, because horse beans sound delicious.   


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My favourite store!     


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I knew it.  


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Umm ......no thanks. 


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If there's one thing we don't need help with...   

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'See you after the flight Mum!'   


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Should be in front of half the hotels in town.   

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No nerd is safe…

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Mon, 09 Mar 2009 08:26:00 -0700 An amazing show of devotion! http://mfubib.posterous.com/photo-from-reuters-pictures-da http://mfubib.posterous.com/photo-from-reuters-pictures-da
via daylife.com

The footprints made by monk Hua Chi who kowtowed at the same spot for decades, are seen at a monastery near Tongren, Qinghai province February 25, 2009. Hua Chi, who believes he is around 70 years old, has kowtowed at the same spot so many times that perfect footprints remain on the wooden doorstep. The monk and doctor of traditional medicine has been coming to the small temple in the monastery town of Tongren in China's western Qinghai province for nearly twenty years to perform a strict personal ritual. Every day, before sunrise, Hua arrives at the temple steps, placing his feet onto his footprints as he bends down to kowtow a few thousand times before walking around the temple. "During the first years I would kowtow 2,000 to 3,000 times a day. But I have grown older, so in recent years I have only done around 1,000 each day," he said, adding that to his dismay, in the cold winter-time he would sometimes only manage around 500 kowtows. Picture taken February 25, 2009.

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:52:41 -0700 A scene from my garden :) http://mfubib.posterous.com/a-scene-from-my-garden http://mfubib.posterous.com/a-scene-from-my-garden
Jeremy_and_chook

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:35:04 -0800 I clicked that link . . . http://mfubib.posterous.com/i-clicked-that-link http://mfubib.posterous.com/i-clicked-that-link
That_link

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Sun, 01 Mar 2009 06:49:00 -0800 Twitter Menu http://mfubib.posterous.com/twitter-menu http://mfubib.posterous.com/twitter-menu

Twitter_menu

Talk about hilarious!

Went out with the family tonight to a club in Ringwood (Melbourne, Australia).  They obviously don't think that anyone living in the 'burbs would be using twitter.  Check out their menu!!!

Question is, should I speak to management and let them know?

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:02:17 -0800 When I grow up . . . http://mfubib.posterous.com/when-i-grow-up-1 http://mfubib.posterous.com/when-i-grow-up-1

Image001

 

Mommy actually works at Bunnings, she was selling a shovel.

 

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:56:05 -0800 Kristin Hersh - Your Ghost http://mfubib.posterous.com/kristin-hersh-your-ghost http://mfubib.posterous.com/kristin-hersh-your-ghost

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby Sun, 26 Oct 2008 06:00:27 -0700 twitter blocks http://mfubib.posterous.com/twitter-blocks http://mfubib.posterous.com/twitter-blocks

Image001

http://explore.twitter.com

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]]> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/18983/new_avatar_200x200.jpg http://posterous.com/users/10OAnEJPnGh Matthew Bibby mfubib Matthew Bibby